Two Poems after the loss of Amanda Leigh

A Shopping List
1. In the department store I pass the maternity section
I see the proud mothers to be
Excitedly picking out billowing dresses
And pants with adjustable snaps
Stretching my neck I pilfer a glimpse.

2. I pass the baby section and remember
That almost yesterday I was welcome there with warm smiles
Again, I see the mothers to be
Lovingly picking out cribs and bibs
Preparing for the bulge in their bellies.

3. These women are naive, they do not know
That in a moment, a quick silent moment
It can come to a crashing halt
And death can sweep them so far away
From this mystical place.

4. I am now an outsider watching from my world
Seeing myself just a short time ago
I touch my belly where you used to live
And try to remember you dance
The closeness I once felt with you.

5. I cry a silent cry that only I can hear
My breasts are still weeping for you
But nobody can see through their happiness
They just smile and rub their bulges
And continue to shop.

6. I remember the day your heartbeat vanished
The silence from within
Repudiating the stillness and pretending
That you would be as I had imagined
But my childhood ended as I died with you.

7. I leave this place of memories
Because I can no longer face the pain
It is to hard to accept
So I go home and spend time remembering you
Alone and completely lonely.